Princess Jenna

Jenna’s newborn photo shoot. I created this royalty mess.

Jenna is a real life Princess. Born and raised into what she truly believes is royalty. Mommy is the Queen, Daddy is the King and her brothers are Prince’s. I don’t know where our royalty lies or what I’m the Queen of. I’d ask Jenna but frankly I’m scared of her answer. She lacks the same sensor I lack. It truly is a blessing in disguise because it makes for fun conversations but I’m always scared of what she’s going to say in public.

She amazes me with her intelligence. She may turn out to look like eye candy for some rich guy but Jenna wouldn’t be able to just sit back and be someones house bitch. She’s entirely to sassy for that lifestyle. I can see her growing up and being a lawyer. She argues her way out of every thing and if she can’t argue her way out then she turns up the charm.

The other day she did something to warrant getting her hand swatted. I don’t remember what and it’s really not important.

Brandon had just walked in the door as I was telling her to give me her hand.

She said so sweetly, “I want Daddy to do it.” After I caught Brandon up on what was going on he asked for her hand.

As she was giving him her hand she said, “I need you to do it softer please.”

I couldn’t stop laughing. She owns Daddy’s heart and there was no way he was swatting that hand even remotely hard. It wouldn’t have been bad to begin with, Daddy has a soft spot for the Princess; that’s why she asked him to dish out the punishment. Add that to the do it softer comment and Brandon damn near just shook her hand. Afterall, she is Daddy’s Princess.

With a cute smile and a soft voice, she can get whatever she wants. That’s not really the problem though, the problem is she knows it. She already knows how to use her girly charm to wrap everyone around her finger. It’s not just any kind of charm though; she’s very sneaky and smart for her age.

Every day brings something new for Jenna. Something new that she wants to try. She lives every day waiting for the day she gets “a lil bit bigger, like Jaelyn.” So she can go to school with him, ride bikes with him, slide down the big slide at the YMCA and the most important thing is when they’re a lot older they’re going to live together.

Jaelyn has promised her they will play dolls, drink chocolate milk and eat pizza and candy all day long. I foresee them both having to move back home before the second months rent is due; both will develop diabetes within that month as well. That’s if neither kill the other one first. Fights over whose Elsa and whose Ana are beyond fierce. 

If they wanna live together, I’m all for it. I used to live with my little brother. Good, responsible times were had. That’s our story and we’re sticking to it. I hope my kids have the same relationship with each other as I have with my siblings. It makes life easier to have lifelong friends who know your deepest secrets and still love you.

Jenna doesn’t hesitate to tell Jaelyn when he’s messing up or call him on his bullshit. She’s my little snitch. Jenna’s usually the first one on the scene when Jace takes a fall. She babies him like he’s hers. She’s even offered to change poopy diapers and all.

They may fight but they do love eachother. They are allowed to pick on one and another but if someone else tries all hell breaks loose. Maybe that’s what makes us suburban royalty. 

Jenna is sassy as all get out but I absolutely adore that about her.  Her smile melts my heart and her laughter is music to my ears. She shines so bright already that I cannot imagine what’s in store for her future. I’m just gonna sit back and watch her walk to her own beat because this is going to be one heck of a show folks; grab some popcorn.





Life has never and probably will never be easy for Jaelyn. This is a very hard blog to write because it stirs up a lot of emotions for me. First and foremost I must say this; my son has a Learning Disability. As a family we never know what each day will bring us. It’s all new to us but as we learn to cope with his issues as a family, then Jaelyn flourishes as a child.


We have opted for medicine to help with his ADHD. This is not up for debate, this is what our family chose. We also chose during this time to engage Jaelyn in behavioral therapy. We brought in the therapist to help us reach a medication free lifestyle. One day he may not need medicine, I pray for that day. I also know that day may never come and I’ve come to terms with that. With that said, his learning disability does not define who he is; it is simply an obstacle in his journey.

When Jaelyn was 3 months old he underwent his first surgery. He was diagnosed with pyloric stenosis. It’s where the muscle from the stomach to the small intestine is narrow and hard. They had to go in and snip it so he could pass food. His formula was spoiling in his stomach before it could make it to his small intestine. Every time I fed him he would projectile vomit everywhere, it was scary. His burps smelt like rotten eggs, it was foul. (He has also had numerous ENT surgeries over the years, with the most recent 2 months ago)

Months following his pyloric stenosis surgery, he quadrupled in size. He was the chunkiest little kid I had ever seen and he was beyond cute.

Jaelyn is in 1st grade now and it has been one hell of a road, already. Don’t get me wrong, I am more than ready to travel that same road for the rest of my life, I’m just exhausted. He’s turned into a product of his environment.

One day he came home and was telling me a story about the bad kids and how they had gotten in trouble. I smiled and asked him what it meant to be a bad kid. He said stuff about behavior in the classroom, they use bad words, and get in trouble a lot.

Jaelyn then said, “I’m not bad like them, not really.”

I started laughing and asked him what their names where. When he listed them off I noticed they were all kids I’ve heard him tell stories about that start off with my best friend. He was part of the bad kids! 

I called him out on his white lie and he retaliated in true Booga fashion, “I said I wasn’t as bad as them, they’re fun to me but I am not the baddest of them all.” Ok kid, you got me. In this case I’m proud to say he’s a follower and not a leader, though I wish he’d associate with the non-notorious kids and possibly lead that group.

Jaelyn is and always will be my hero. Before it was because he saved me but now it’s because I see him overcome so many obstacles. Something as simple as simple as tieing his shoes, takes a lot longer than other kids to learn. But he did it, because he’s a beast and with a lot of encouragement Jaelyn can accomplish anything he wants. Positive reinforcement is the key to success with him.

No matter where life takes him I will always be by his side, cheering him on. Six years ago I fell in love with this little baby I had grown inside of me. I didn’t know I could love someone that much. Over the years it has surpassed any expectations I had going blindly into motherhood.

Jaelyn is the bees-knees!


Wet Willies, Noogies and Wedgies

Giving Jaelyn a wet willy


I couldn’t imagine life without being able to randomly wet willy any of my children at any given time. They know if you mess with me, I will get you. When raising kids if you’re not having a blast then you’re prolly not doing it right.

Brandon and I both enjoy the funny things from our childhood. So when he hears -on Facebook– about me giving the kids a wedgie, wet willy or noogie, I don’t really understand the look he gives me. His initial response is never what I expect. I think he’s just trying to be the composed father figure. That’s a really hard role to fill when you wear Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas. I’m not knocking the PJs; he’s always sexy to me and I bought the damn things but c’mon pick a side homie. You either wedgie that kid or you don’t. You either rock those TMNT pants or you don’t. So don’t give me that look Brandon, that shit ends today. You know I’m freakin’ awesome and everything I do is awesome. Come ride the wedgie train with me baby.

You know why it’s ok to give your kid a wedgie? Because I said so. Haven’t you heard I’m the “World’s Best Mommy”? I have a coffee cup, magnet and shirt to prove it.

Wedgies, wet willies and noogies are not a cruel or unusual punishment, it’s actually the opposite. In a way I’m preparing them to be tough in case they’re the ones getting the wedgies in school. They can laugh in the face of their bully. That’s what I tell myself to help me sleep better at night. Take that away from me and I’ll cut you!

It all started one day when I was trying to wrestle with Jaelyn. I used to be able to pick him up, twirl him around and pretend to drop him. Not anymore, he’s a 102 lb 7-year-old. I can’t hang like I used too.

He was getting the best of me and had me pinned. I probably could have gotten out of it but instead I stuck my finger in my mouth; made sure to get it real wet and screamed “WET WILLY!”

When my finger touched his ear he looked like he shit himself. It was the greatest thing ever, he jumped right up and ran away from me. I was saved by the wet willy wrestling move I invented. 

After explaining what a wet willy was and reminding him numerous times they’re for home usage only, we went to war; wet willy war. We chased each other around the house, circling the table, hiding in closets, under blankets and in cabinets, all in the name of being crowned The Wet Willy Winner. I won because well, I always win. It was so much fun, I felt like a kid again.

One day when Jenna was in the kitchen being sassy, I slowly crept up from behind and gave her a wedgie. Her sassiness generally only warrants a verbal scolding but this time she was being sassy to everyone. I can’t even remember what she was saying but I will never forget her post wedgie reaction.

Jenna said, “my panties are up my butt and in my coochie why’d you do that?”

I replied, “because someone needed to knock you down a few notches.” I explained what a wedgie was and about home usage only.

Her and Jaelyn chased each other around for over an hour trying to give the other one a wedgie. However, no wedgies were administered amongst themselves. It gave me an hour of free time though. That’s winning.  I would say everyone was a winner that day, except Jenna. But she’s cool with wedgies now. She told Jaelyn’s behavioral therapist that it was a fun, nice way for her and Jaelyn to play together. 

I challenge each and every one of you to administer a wet willy, noogie or wedgie to your kids at least once a week. It really is fun, but if you’re hesitant just tell them it’s from me. I can take this one for the team, I got you.

Now go do it and tell me about it, hurry!