Nailed It

I was excited when Jaelyn asked for an Easy Bake Oven. I was even more excited when his Grandma bought him one.

After Jaelyn opened the gift, he started promising everyone delicious treats. “I’ll bake a cake for Jenna, brownies for Jace and I’ll bake Mommy cookies!” Do you see why I was excited? Cookies get me everytime.

The first thing he said to me this morning was, “can we bake using my Easy Bake Oven today?” I never turn down cookies.

I opened the box and pulled the oven out. It was so cute, much cuter than my old Easy Bake Oven. Jaelyn and I read the instructions together. Every new step brought a new level of excitement. I think in his head he was screaming,  “lets bake these cookies, bitch!” I know I was. 

We went to work. Preheated the oven, measured out water, formed dough balls, flatten said dough balls, and slid them suckers in the oven. The instructions said to bake the cookies for 9 minutes. We set a timer.

The instructions and manufacturer end result picture.


During the 9 minutes of bake time, Jaelyn was clearly on edge. He kept checking the timer, talking about the cookies and saying how he couldn’t wait to bake cakes. “Do you think it will have frosting? I like frosting, they should have frosting.”

When the timer went off he flew into the kitchen screaming, “COOKIES ARE READY!” I had to remind him they needed to be pushed into the cooling chamber for a 5 minute cool down period. He wasn’t impressed and Mommy wasn’t either. I was ready to eat my share of heat lamp cooked cookies but directions said we couldn’t. My old Easy Bake Oven didn’t have a cooling chamber, why did this one need it? Whatever.

When the 5 minute timer went off he was more excited than before and so was Mommy. We got our little purple wand and pulled the tray of cookies out….

“What the heck happened?” Jaelyn asked.

I replied, “I don’t know, we followed the directions.”

Jaelyn and I had a good laugh, compared our final product to the picture. I declined my share of cookies and gave them all to him.

He sat down at the kitchen table and started to eat his creation. I heard him talking to himself,  “oh boy, what did I get myself into? The cake will be better, I never really liked cookies anyway.”

Our end result.



Holiday Spirit?



Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year. I loved the smells, the food and the togetherness. I loved the smile on people’s faces when they open gifts from me. I loved the Christmas Eve party with my family. Maybe it has something to do with my first real buzz coming from swigging the adults leftover booze. Ahh, the childhood memories.

This year it feels different. I’m not quite sure what it is but the spirits not there for me. The decorations around the house are annoying me as I try to keep them safe from Jaces grubby little hands. All I hear from my older 2 kids is “I want, I want, I want.” They aren’t spoiled but lately they sound like they may be getting there. I’m not looking forward to scrounging together cash to fill 12 cards for our nieces and nephews. All these things once brought me such joy.

Maybe it’s the major changes we’re all going through as a family. We are all adjusting to my Aunt moving in and not knowing if it’s forever or just temporary is hard. We are all getting to know eachother still. We never know what the next day will bring.

Maybe it’s the fact that this is the first year we have to scrounge together money for gifts. Robbing Peter to buy Paul a gift is no fun. Especially knowing that the money SHOULD be spent on paying off bills. But I can’t deny any of the kids in our family a gift. It may not be much but at least it’s something.

I need my funk to go away. I want to enjoy this time of the year. This is the first year in almost 4 years that my Grandparents will be in town. This will be the first year since I was around 12 that I will be opening gifts Christmas morning along side my Aunt. All reasons to have the holiday spirit, but I don’t. And I don’t know exactly why.

Maybe if I bake a bunch of Christmas cookies and eat all of them, I will feel better… or worse. Whatever, it’s a risk worth taking.

My Buddy

I remember it like it happened yesterday, even though it was actually 23 years agoI was shopping with my mom, my grandma and my aunt, we were standing in line at the registers. The family in front of us had a little girl around my age. 

The little girl looked at my Aunt Lisa,  turned to her mom and said, “she looks funny. What’s wrong with her?”

I looked up at my mom, I think she heard the little girl, but she wasn’t acknowledging her. My grandma was examining items in her cart, I don’t think she heard her. I looked at Lisa, she was smiling and looking around. She was in her own peaceful world. Then I looked at the little girl and said, “shes special.”

I didn’t know the medical term for what Lisa was born with (Down Syndrome) but I knew she was special. Lisa was my buddy, it made me sad to hear the little girl say such a mean thing about her.

That was the day I asked my mom more about Lisa’s condition. That was also the day I loved Lisa more than before.

Lisa and I have always been best buddies. We played card games, board games and we would color for hours at a time. It never felt like she was 27 years old, it always felt like she was my age. (8)

Today my Aunt Lisa is coming to live with us. I’m very excited. I feel like her and I share an unspoken bond. I don’t know how long she’ll be with us or if she’ll even be happy here. I just know that we need to give it a shot because she’s still my buddy.