Saving lives, like a boss

I saved LIVES the other day…. LIVES! Goldfish lives but they were still LIVES and I saved them. I’m some kind of freakin hero!



I go in Jenna’s room to hang out and play. I notice the filter on the fish tank is running but it wasn’t “filtering”. There was no water coming down where it usually looks like a waterfall. I know from previous goldfish bowls that without a filter there’s no way for oxygen to enter the water allowing them to breathe. I don’t know the specifics, Google it. But if you see your fish gulping at the top of the tank or bowl it’s because they need air. They can’t live more than a couple of days like that. We have lost a few goldfish before because we put them in a fishbowl with no filter. I don’t know how long our current fish had been gulping.

This would USUALLY be the time I call Brandon upstairs and let him deal with it. I love the fish but I don’t do fish water and I will flip out if they touch me. I almost wet myself once, true story. However, Brandon was at work. This one was on me. Shitty fish water, ugh.

The big fish was gulping really bad. The other fish were swimming up to the top, gulping and then swimming back down but they seemed to be in a catatonic state. I went full-on mommy mode, I HAD TO SAVE THE FISH… but first I needed some kind of gloves because fish water. Ugh. 

I looked every where, it took me 20 minutes to find a pair that wasn’t drenched in bleach. All the while, Jace was on my hip and Jenna was so far up my butt had I farted, she would have went flying across the room. It didn’t matter though, we were on this mission together. We needed to save lives! I find my last new pair of big yellow “I’m cleaning the toilet” gloves. The had to be new ones, I maybe slightly ditzy at times but I’m no moron.

I get my gloves on and go all Wonder Woman on the fish tank filter machine. I changed the filter, I stuck my gloved hand in the water. I couldn’t tell if the filter was sucking because the gloves were too thick and Queen Franchesca swam past my arm and touched the glove. It was too much, I had to retreat. My bladder couldn’t handle it. YUCK! Thank God I had on gloves. Sorry fish you would die before I stick my hand/arm in there without protection. 

Then I notice a knob on top of the filter machine. I turn it completely the opposite way. Why not?

It starts working. WE HAVE A WATERFALL FOLKS!

Are you freaking kidding me though? Someone had just turned the machine off. I didn’t need to stick my arm in poop-infested fish water. Oh well, I still saved LIVES, like a boss.



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