These are solely MY beliefs. Things I have done and things that work in OUR marriage. Every person and every marriage is different.
Many people comment on how good of a relationship Brandon and I have. Like any good relationship we have had our ups and our downs. We fight, we yell, we get mad and we ignore each other but one thing is always for sure; the love is always there. No matter how much crap that man puts me through, I will always love him and I will always have love for him. He is the father of my children and has given me everything I have ever wanted. He has loved me unconditionally when I didn’t even love myself. No matter what happens between us he will always be the love of my life and he will always be a part of my life. With all that said, I have picked up a few tricks along the way that help me be the best wife I can be.
1. Not everything needs to be called out. If you catch him in a white lie or some kind of shady business; if it’s not that deep just let it be. Guys don’t always call us out on our bullshit and you can’t deny that. We regularly toss a bunch of white lies together and hope they don’t catch on. Depending on how smart he is, he probably already knows the truth. I can see it in Brandon’s eyes when he knows I’m telling a white lie. Sometimes if I’m in too deep with it I let it ride out and avoid eye contact at all cost. If it’s something funny or obviously a lie, we instantly laugh about it. He gets me, I get him. No need to constantly be one upping or calling each other out. Don’t us females get that enough in our peer relationships? Don’t bring it home to your husbands.
2. Don’t let your husband in on your beauty routine. Pluck your eyebrows and your facial hair elsewhere. Don’t even think about applying makeup in front of him. It’s one thing for him to have mental before picture but to watch the transformation is a completely different experience. It took me a while to catch on to this one. It may be one of the harder tasks to follow. I understand everyone’s time is crammed and sometimes housing space or kids don’t allow for much alone time. But you have to try your hardest to do these things alone. He doesn’t need to know you pencil in your eyebrows or have hair on your chinny chin chin. I’m not saying you need to wake up 20 minutes before him and apply makeup. Screw that. Just shut the bathroom door next time you get ready. And trust me, the look on his face when he sees the end product is completely worth the privacy. I like to use the time to get ready on my own also as a break from the kids. A lot of times, the kids reaction to mommy all fixed is just as amazing as Brandon’s. Two birds, one stone.
3. Do NOT pass gas in front of your husband. Brandon and I have lived together for six years now and the only time I have passed gas in front of him is in my sleep. Every one farts, true; so get your hinny up and fart in the bathroom. I’ve always been scared that if I rip ass in front of Brandon, he will start seeing me as one of the boys. I don’t want to be friend zoned again. Took me a decade to get out of the friend zone last time. Besides as long as you never fart in front of him, there will never be a shart in front of him. That’s an epic win in my book.
4. Always make them feel special. Sometimes as women we assume we are the only one who wants to be swept off their feet. We can’t expect to be the only one who’s pampered. Now don’t bring flowers home ALL the time. Men feel special in different ways then we do. You have to find something that your guy likes and play off of that. Brandon enjoys getting flowers but it’s not a realy a manly thing, and I know enjoys other things. I like to bring him home some of his favorites when I go to the store or I write him a note and place it in the car before he goes to work. One time I picked out all the green Dots and gave them to him. Remember the little things they tell you and always take a moment to show them that you remembered that about them. He needs to feel just as special as you want to feel. Men like to keep things simple.
5. Touch him all the time. A constant physical connection with your spouse is amazing. I am not a hugger at all. I don’t like touching or hugging people but Brandon brings that out in me. I can’t get enough of him and to be honest, he can’t take his hands off me either. Whether it’s a 5 minute hug, a quick peck or a swift booty touch; we are constantly grouping each other. It keeps the romance alive. When the kids see it, it shows them how much their mommy and daddy love each other. My kids will never doubt the love we share. They see it and they can feel it.
I want Brandon to always look at me the way he did when we were dating, with that fresh new relationship feeling. I always want to be that girl to him. I know that it’s an awesome feeling to let your hair down, not wear spanx and poop with the door open, but at what point do you lose the femininity that you dangled in front of your mates face while dating? Unless you did it when you were dating, please don’t do it now that you are married. Men always say we change. Don’t let them be right.