Paper, Rock, Scissors


Every one knows how to play paper, rock, scissors (PRS) right? Best way to determine whose the lucky one, on any given crappy situation. Winner determines who does what. Some times the win gives a good reward, other times it saves you from being the grunt.



When Brandon and I first moved in together and it was just the 3 of us, (Jaelyn, Brandon and I) PRS determined everything from shitty diapers to who gets to sleep in on days off. I remember complaining about having to be the one to get up at 8 am. I would give my left boob to sleep till 8 am now a days. (Not the right one, that one gets a lot of loving from Brandon, can’t give that up)


I remember the look our coworkers would give us when we PRSed for a task at work. Some would laugh, others would roll their eyes. We always had fun at work. We were getting paid to do a job but we got to do it together. We were having the time of our life and everyone around us knew it. That made the majority of the people we encountered feel good and enjoy being around us. Every one has haters, Brenny (us) was no exception to that.


 I always lost at PRS. I don’t know if im just predictable or if Brandon is just that good. Either way after a while PRS was discouraging.  Brandon could see it in my eyes. After a win he would still end up doing the task because he felt bad. So was I really losing at PRS or was I just using what my momma gave me, to get me out of a few poopy diapers? The world may never know.


It’s a good thing we’re more of a bargaining or “pay me to do it” kind of couple now. That sulking crap gets exhausting over time. Now we either just blatantly ask the other one or we sweeten up the deal. By sweeten up the deal I mean there better be a sexual favor or a money exchange involved for it to be considered. Those are usually reserved for the, “I know you really don’t wanna do this, but I really don’t wanna do it MORE” type of things.


Brandon once paid me 50 bucks to run up to the gas station. Technically all money in our possession is OUR money but him giving that to me was a “no questions asked were this gets spent,” gesture. Heck yeah I rolled up to the gas station, giddy as all get out.


We also used to play thumb-war all the time. I was over that method fast though. For as tiny as his hands are (think the guy with the small hands on the Burger King commercial) he sure has freakishly long thumbs. It’s pure bullshit. I got short, stumpy, little sausage thumbs. They’re no match for his thumbs. Screw thumb war.


I sure do miss they PRS days; but they’re long gone. We can’t use that method anymore. There’s always more than one task to complete.

 I consider myself lucky now a days if Brandon’s home to help out. So instead of being a full-time jerk and declaring PRS for every task. Probably would lose them all anyways. I say “this or that.” You either do this or you do that, your choice. He always picks the easy task. That’s ok though, especially if it could result in a huge mess. I’ll do it because its harder to complain if you’re the one who made the mess.


I miss playing PRS, but I don’t miss loosing all the time. Maybe when the kids are a little older we’ll start playing again. You know, when there’s not so many shitty diapers riding on it.  Maybe then Brandon will be too incoherent to cheat. Boom, the ether. YEAH I SAID IT.  Brandon was a PRS cheater.



3 thoughts on “Paper, Rock, Scissors

  1. My girlfriend and I either take turns (“It’s your turn to do the dishes!”) or flip a coin if we both don’t want to do the task. We used to do PRS but it’s too risky for me, I prefer the coin toss.

    • You should try the favor one, like the gas station incident. Its a win win for all. Some times I bribe him with something as simple as his favorite meal. Sometimes I’d much rather whip up a batch of chicken tacos, then give give the kids a bath.

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